The Dogs of Bedlam Farm by Jon Katz

Author:Jon Katz
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781588364302
Publisher: Random House Publishing Group
Published: 2004-10-05T04:00:00+00:00

IT’S AMAZING, THIS EMOTIONAL AURA THAT ENVELOPS US AND our dogs. The pain of Homer’s leaving has dulled, but it hasn’t vanished. It still feels as if some part of me has gone astray. I worry about him sometimes, especially at night. How do I really know if he is happy? Is he pining for us? Sometimes I think I see him, waiting by the back door to go to the sheep, or sniffing the woodpile for chipmunks.

His is a spectral presence, invoking not only my dog, but the things the dog reminded me of, the demons he unknowingly unleashed. He was with us for three years, and the memories—his adorable puppyhood, his herding of waves and sheep, our travels across the country—don’t leave just because he did. They are woven into my neural system, forever part of my life with dogs.

Rose and Orson and I have a bountiful love affair, but I know they are not nearly as good-natured. The neighborhood UPS and Fed-Ex drivers don’t love them the same way, and vice versa. Rose is a working girl, through and through, impossible to distract from her mission, the Queen of Bedlam Farm. And Orson, placid and loving though he has become, will always be an idiosyncratic grump. He’s the only dog I know who hates defenseless puppies. His only wish is to be within a few feet of me for as long as possible, a wish I’ve happily granted.

As much as I love these two—and boy, do I—I’ll always miss Homer’s affectionate heart. How did it come to this, I sometimes wonder. But while I regret much about Homer, I don’t regret sending him off to Max and Eva and Sharon and Hank. Things didn’t work out as I’d planned, but at least I didn’t condemn him to the peripheries of love. Because he couldn’t speak, I spoke for him. What I said was: I can’t give you what you need, but I can find you somebody who will. In this, I kept faith with him.

One bitter January night, Hank checked in for the first time in a few weeks, thanking me for the hundredth time for bringing Homer into their lives. Grandparents, neighbors, schoolmates—everyone was crazy about him.

“A friend came by and fell in love with Homer,” Hank told me. “He told me how lucky we were to have such a sweet, easygoing dog. I can’t say enough about Homer. He’s such a truly good dog.”

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